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Do you isolate or push people away?

Best books of 12222 so far

Do you need to be on top and in control? Do you have difficulty trusting? If these tendencies cause you problems in your relationships, here is your opportunity. Untangle your thoughts and feelings about the past, and live in freedom from them as you move forward. The middle path is the intelligent path. Dwelling on what happened and leaking your feelings all over the place will keep you suffering. Instead, bring intelligence and clarity to your direct experience.

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Cultivate a fire for peace and ease that serves you well. Finding out who you are is the ultimate freedom. If you define yourself by your past, you will be living as a fraction of what is possible for you. Say you think of yourself as wronged or abused or victimized. Or you see yourself as having gotten the short end of the stick. Is it time to take them off? It feels so true to think we are the result of what happened or the sum total of our thoughts and feelings.

But the truest thing about you is that you are aware.

A National Journal of Literature & Discussion

Life presents a passing array of experiences — thoughts, emotions, events, people. These all arise in you but are not you. Live as the awareness that you are — fully alive, here, not in conflict with anything. Know who you are, and the pain of the past will barely be a ripple…on the surface…of the immeasurable vastness of you. Note: This is the seventh in a series of posts on Life-Changing Facts.

Here are the others: fear , attachment , habits , healing the inner critic , happiness , and anger. Note on September 26, Thank you all for your comments, which I have enjoyed answering. We have thoroughly exhausted this topic! I love that you are interested in finding peace. I have a very hard time letting go of an affair, i recently had.

It was nothing more for me then just something that made me curious. She is btw married. She was into me and i was into her, she will told me a lot about her life, her kids, her past, we hung out and everything was great until i told her i felt about her. I have lost a ton of weight because of the break up and in dire need of help. Thanks for leaving our comment, Safi. I hear you saying that you are in dire need of help, and not the kind of help I can give you in a sentence or two.

Something about this situation is stuck in you, and it is a huge opportunity for you to find out what it is.

Then There Was You

You are grieving a loss, which often involves strong, painful feelings. I recommend that you get some outside help.

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  • It could be a counselor in your local area, a wise friend or relative, or someone else you trust. I encourage you to address your reaction so that you can move on and begin to enjoy life again, which is what you deserve. I am having such trouble it hurts so bad i had this guy who was my bestfriend for 2 years he is very in love with me but he has had sexual relations with other females just a week before we got together it causes are relationship problems because it hurts me every day that he said he was in love with me yet still had sexual relations at this time i.

    Just stop, take a breath, and check in to see what is really right for you. Stay centered within yourself, with what is good for you and what you want, and take very good care of yourself always. The funny part after reading this is that I have never bought or really worn clothes that fit, literally. It has been something I have avoided and it has become true in the non-literal sense as well if I truly reflect.

    With no idea of what I was waiting for or why, it definitely triggers a small sense of fear. Fear of what? I have no idea, still working on that one.

    53 Books That Will Definitely Make You Cry

    My mind like my body are in some sort of despair. Maybe not despair, but something that is limiting my current happiness. At least that, I can feel.

    Niki & The Dove - So Much It Hurts (Audio)

    This is a beautiful starting point, Brittany, to realize that something is limiting your happiness. How can you step into being more in alignment with yourself and what you want? Pay close attention to your thoughts and feelings as this is where the past, which is gone, stays alive in your experience.

    If the thoughts run wild and the feelings remain unexplored, this is where you get stuck. There is a ton of information on this site about how to approach troublesome thoughts and feelings. Have a look at the archives , and when you read something that resonates, stop and experiment, integrate it into your own experience.

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    This is a process — and beautiful journey — that ignites your power. I have been with the same woman since we were 18 years old. We have been married for two of them. She had two boyfriends before me. I have never been good about getting over her past, she never fully gave herself to either of them but did more making-out and grabbing etc. She even told one of them that she loves them.

    Day in and day out I ask her questions about her past and this always ends in fight. I know I love her but it hurts me that she was with these other guys. I have been seeing someone about this but the thoughts are still popping up in my head and I am still asking my questions.

    You may need to courageously and lovingly meet the feelings that are behind these thoughts. The idea is not to get rid of the thoughts — because this is impossible. Instead, change your relationship to them. I talk a lot about that in this article. And when a thought tsunami comes, know that it is propelled by feelings. So see what they are and bring the deepest acceptance to them. I am really struggling in this area.

    Was married 21 years.

    African Avengers: the comic book creators shaking up superhero genre

    After much volatility and the start of violent behavior I made my husband leave for what I thought would be a short time. He stayed away for a year, sabatoged marriage counseling and basically was drunk and unemployed. I knew he would take me to cleaners and prayed he would have a change of heart.